June 30, 2011

Don't mess with Mama Bear

So as most anyone who pays attention to us in the least, knows we had a baby Saturday. We received well wishes from most everyone we know.. Well almost everyone.......

On Thursday evening, I texted Joe at work. I informed him that I had lost my "plug". He asked if he needed to come home I told him no. He did inform his boss and told him he probably would not be in on Friday. Boss said he's make note of it. To be sure he called in Friday and tried to reach someone. He tried various numbers and kept getting voicemail. He left a detailed message. As I posted in my birth story, we went to Lowe's that evening. Of course there we saw two of the guys Joe works with, both supervisors.

Saturday of course, we gave birth to our son. He was born 82 hours after my contractions first began. Monday afternoon Joe called his work and asked his supervisor if it would be ok if he took another night off, so he could be home with us and help me out. He said it was not a problem. He also said his points would not be effected. They would count both days as one point.

About 30 min later he got a voicemail. It was the lady from Human Resources. She told Joe to call her before he comes back to work.. We all know what that means. He called back right away and they she told him due to his attendance they wanted to sever his relationship with them. Basically. You're Fired.

The deal was that he was a no call no show on Friday. And his call on Monday wasnt valid because they said his supervisor didn't have authority to allow him the day off ( this was news to him as all along he was told thats who he deals with for everything). This business has a points system. After 3.5 points in a certain time frame,  they let you go. Well even with all of this Joe was still only at 2.5 points ( he had a .5 point from a few weeks back when van woudln't start and he was late). This still wasnt near the 3.5 rule. She also said there was no voice mail. Joe offered up his phone records to prove he called.

Once he had made that point, she than began to say that his absence wasn't excused as he could have been to work on Friday as he was seen at Lowes. He explained over and over about my labor and then they began asking about a doctors note and all kinds of other information. I told Joe I can show them my birth photos if they wish, I have some really good shots I didn't post on the blog.. ... She said she had to talk to people and would get back with him. Joe ended up missing work on Tuesday and Wednesday had not heard back, so he called them again. They drilled him more about my birth and how he could have come to work and now that was the issue. He kept explaining that I was in labor and he was not going to leave his wife home alone with 8 kids while she was in labor.

Today, Thursday, he speaks to her again. She is still drilling him about the time line. Joe looks at me and says he is on speaker phone and the people on the other end are discussing the time I had the baby.. You see he wasn't born untill 2pm. Joe would have had PLENTY of time to work on Friday night.~ Can you believe this?!

It was at this point I had had it. Joe had missed 3 days of work on top of the 2 days he intentionally took off. They were debating my labor as a reason to terminate his employment. We just moved into a new home and just had a baby and now my husbands means to support us are in the hands of people who are very arrogant and selfish jerks who are  completly ignoranat to childbirth. Not gonna happen.

So I did what I do. I called corporate. I got them on the phone, gave my story and asked them if this was just a decision of a few people in their KY location or if this was a policy consistant throughoiut the company. We talked a little more, I told her that last week another gentleman there, his wife had a scheduled c-section and they gave him a week off and was very welcoming and supportive. But in our case, a home birth, we are threatened with a loss of his job. Then she talked to my husband ( she can only discuss so much with me). He also argued the case that if he was home playing video games or helping with the birth of his son, he still only had 2.5 points against him. According to their policy, he is allowed up to 3.5.

Thirty minutes later Joe got a phone call. The HR person apologized and told Joe that she would have a formal meeting with him later to apologize more. She also said he had found a loophole in their phone system they were unaware of. He then left for work.

I have dealt with alot of ignorance from alot of people who have no clue about childbirth. I think this was the most absurd. I will not apologize for waiting 3 exrtra weeks to give birth to my son. I will not apologzie that it took 82 hours of labor. I will not apologize that he was not born on anyone's schedule. Thats why I home birth. I know that much of America likes fast food babies. I will not give birth on a timeline. And I will not let people continue to threaten the well being of my family.


  1. Wow, what company does he work for that they treat their employees that way?? I'm so sorry you guys had to deal with this, but thankful he has his job back. I cant imagine having to deal with any of that.

  2. Oh my!!! WOW! Definitely double standards there. No one knows when or how long a baby will take to arrive. I lost my plug with my daughter on Friday, and she wasn't born until Monday morning. My husband couldn't come down until it was verified I was in fact in labor, (we were both military stationed separate locations) So aggravating.

  3. Yikes! What craziness! I am glad that he still has his job though...and hopefully NOW you can all settle down to a "boring" life!

  4. that's ridiculous and sound illegal as well

  5. I have goosebumps from that last paragraph!! We are so proud of you! We love you guys. You are awesome, amazing, fantastic role models. :)

  6. Definitely don't mess with Mama Bear! I am happy to hear he got his job back. Good for you to think about jumping to the corporate office.

  7. Way to go Nicole! Love your last paragraph!

  8. The issue had zero to do with how you gave birth, birth philosophy, or anyone's lack of knowledge about birth. Zero. The entire issue was with your irresponsible husband's lack of communication with his employer.
    I am fairly certain that your perception is skewed in life. You take to the role of victim quite well, which makes you a defensive person. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but no one really cares how you choose to live your life. It's only when you don't follow the guidelines of participation that you agree to (like when you agree to perform a certain job and agree to be responsible in exchange for a paycheck) or you threaten other peoples' well being- that anyone else even gives a flying F##k about you.
    No one cares how long you were in labor, or how long you spent pushing a baby out, or whatever. No one. If all you've got going for you is that you can push babies out of yourself, that's sad.


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